Bird Watching

T-minus four weeks and counting...

I sat at my desk this morning staring at our family budget for the months of November, December and January and kept hearing the words "babies are expensive" circle through my brain.  Around and around and around.

Matt will just have to get used to PB&J.  I'll cook from scratch more.  We'll do, He'll do, I'll do.

Around and around and around.

When we first got pregnant I didn't know that my maternity leave would be unpaid but we discussed the possibility of me not going back to work at all so the zero income question was at least put out there.  Once my zero income for three months status was confirmed it was time to get down to business.  I asked God to provide for us.  In fact, I "foolishly" asked him to provide for us in such a way that if someone were to look at our situation they would have no choice but to say God had worked mightily.  I even said I would be okay if it happened at the last minute.  With four weeks left, I'm thinking that I should have suggested an August 31st deadline.

Today at lunch I stopped off at WINCO to pick up granola bars, orange juice, instant oatmeal and peanut butter.  I had a bunch of Buy One Get One Free coupons for the granola bars, and after the oatmeal coupons I'd have breakfast at the office for the next month for only $1.00.  Without thinking, I swooped into the "Checker In Training" line (but not before letting another lady go in front of me - because I'm nice like that).  She looked through my coupons and started scanning.  Granola Bars? Check.  Oatmeal? Nothing.  Her supervisor said that sometimes the printed coupons weren't in the system so they wouldn't be able to honor them.  I said that was fine and politely asked if I could just put the oatmeal back.  Disappointing, but really not a big deal.  The transaction had taken far longer than I wanted it too and there were people stacking up behind me.  And I think I was standing under a vent that was spewing out warm air despite the 80 degrees temperature outside.  I purposely didn't apologize to the lady directly behind me because I didn't want anyone paying any more attention to me and my time-sucking ways than was necessary.  Plus with her greasy hair, out of fashion clothes and dark under eye circles, she honestly looked like she'd had better days.

I swung my cart around to load my purchases into my shopping bags, hoping to get me and my baby bump out of there as fast as possible.  Greasy Hair Lady murmured something to me as I turned to leave.  I looked up, not wanting to engage her in conversation but thinking I should at least be nice.  I'm mostly okay with being a crazy coupon lady - but I certainly don't want to be a snotty crazy coupon lady.

"I'm sorry, what did you ask?"

"Are those items necessary for your diet?"

Huh?  Where is she going with this line of questioning?  Crazy Oregon hippies - I bet she potty trained her kid from childbirth too.  It's certainly none of her business what I eat.  Well, I suppose I don't need the granola bars but those are mostly for Matt to take with him to campus now that school's back in session.  And no, I don't really need instant oatmeal I can choke down 20 more slices of peanut butter toast in the morning at my 9:15 break and then an additional 20 PB&J sandwiches at lunch - but I really don't want to...  And I really don't want to get into it with a total stranger about my eating habits.

"Um, well....no.  Not really," I stammered.  "I just like to keep them at the office for breakfast or a snack in case I get hungry."

She turned back toward the cashier to write her check and picked something up off of the conveyor belt and handed it to me.  It was a box of my oatmeal.

"Oh, I didn't pay for this."

"I'm buying it for you.  In fact, I'm buying three boxes for you."  She motioned for the training supervisor to add two more boxes to her

"What?  Really?  No.  You don't have to do that."

"Well, we need to keep that baby healthy."

"Seriously?  Wow, thank you.  Really, thank you so much!"  I didn't know what to do.  Do I give her my business card and follow up with pictures of our child.  Do we exchange email addresses?  What is proper etiquette in these situations?  Is there etiquette beyond a simple thank you in these situations?  I almost went over and hugged her but everyone had already gone back to ignoring me and I'm really not into making scenes so I just turned and left.  Of course I felt like the worst person ever for having judged this woman to be less than pleasant in a variety of ways.

Once in the car, the tears started to fall.  Tears would have been good in the store - that's the gratitude equivalent of a business card, right?

On Sunday, about 25 minutes into my pastors sermon on 1 Corinthians 9 my mind started to wander.  I flipped through my bible, landed on Matthew 6 and was drawn to verses 24 through 34 which reads:

“No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

"And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?

"So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today."

While it may not have been divine intervention on the scale that I had asked for back in August, what that women did for me today was certainly enough to remind me that we have not and will not be forgotten by our Creator.