Layin' Down the Law

We're working on another round of sleep training for Baby Mange.  He typically wakes up anytime between 12 am and 2 am.  The doctor said that should stop.  I happen to agree with her.  I mean, I'm still up at midnight anyway but I'd like to be able to fix some bad habits and the only thing standing in my way is my kid. (If you believe that, I hear Springfield is in need of a new monorail.  Monorail!)


Jackie:   So...sleep training then?
Matt:   Yeah, but let's not start tonight.
Jackie:   You're such a softie.
Matt:   No! I mean, he got shots today and his little legs might hurt and he might want extra comforting...
Jackie:   Okay then, tomorrow night?
Matt:   *Pause* I guess so.
Jackie:   What I think would help this process is if you were the one to go in and comfort him by rubbing his little tummy and patting his head if he cries for 20 minutes without going back to sleep.  If I go in, he'll just be mad that he can't have food and he'll cry louder and longer.
Matt:   *Pause*Sigh*Nose scrunch* Okay.
Jackie:   Mr. Munger, do you have the fortitude to do it without picking him up and giving him cuddles and love?
[I kid you not, the man visibly deflated.]
Matt:   Awwww....but he's just so sad and cuddly and I feel bad when I hear him crying...
Jackie:   Sleep time is NOT playtime!  How would you like it if your parents came in and woke you up every night because they liked spending time with you?  Don't look at me like that!  You wouldn't like it so don't say you would just to prove a point!
Matt:   Fine.  Can I check his diaper?
Jackie:   Yes.
Matt:   Can I pick him up to check his diaper?
Jackie:   You can pick him up to CHANGE his diaper.  BUT ONLY IF IT ACTUALLY NEEDS TO BE CHANGED!
Matt:   Fine.

I'm hoping that after a few nights of dad being responsible for getting out of bed to soothe a crying Baby Mange he will feel a more urgent need to change our child's night time feeding habits.  And he doesn't read this blog so he'll never know about my evil master plan.