Shhhhhh...

Happy Easter!

The last few weeks have been ones of greater than normal reflection. My (very, very) short time overseas gave God the opportunity to really shake me up. I haven't been too quick to write about what we did and how it affected me because it's has changed almost daily. I haven't been too quick to write about much of anything at all because my mind has been working overtime to put things in order.

I've started and deleted a number of paragraphs trying to share with you what exactly all of this stuff is. As you can see, I'm struggling. Don't worry, it's all good in a seeing the bad to face your faults and turn from the behaviors that hold you back kind of way. It's been humbling but I like it.

So I'll leave you with these two things:

1) On Friday night I didn't fall asleep until 4 am. I tossed and turned as I thought about awful things that could happen to my home, friends, family, income stream, the dangers of commuting to work, strife in various relationships. You name it and I probably spent a few seconds thinking about it. I confessed some things and cried a little. Moments before I fell asleep I managed to find another word for the worry.

Fear.

Wouldn't you know, our pastor preached on that exact thing today. Isn't it funny that in the wee hours of the morning on Good Friday I spent my time in a similar manner that the disciples did after they fled from the crucifixion. Afraid. Maybe we aren't afraid of the exact same things but afraid nonetheless. I haven't feel very "Eastery" the past few years that we've celebrated the holiday but I like that God prepared me for what I heard this morning. Perfect Love casts out fear.

2) The other thing that has affected me over the last few days was this posting by Michael Spencer on his website. My boss read it and sent the link my way on Tuesday of last week. Naturally I put it off until Thursday afternoon. It's a little rough in places but it's thought provoking. You may or may not agree with everything he says but I am a fan of listening to all kinds of insight, opinion, and feedback so that I can come to my own conclusions about my faith and the world around me. No Regurgitating Robots please.

So just some things to think about and let you know what's been going on over here. I haven't been as talkative lately but there comes a time when everyone needs to shut up and listen for a few minutes.