Is it cranky in here or is it just me?

Every so often I get this horrible feeling that most of the decisions in my life have been arrived at without the prayer necessary to feel confident that what I have done is right. And because of this all of my decision making from this point forward must therefore be faulty. Have I reached my full potential or did I stop at the first sign of resistance and wrap it in the cloak of "God's Will" and call it good?

What typically follows this line of thinking is an attempt to right the order of the universe that results in a wake of casualties. My response is to withdraw from everything (or dream of it). To ask those that have aided in my complacency to pick up the pieces resulted from my abandonment or pick up the slack and finally allow me to be the person I was meant to be - or at the very least - the person that I want to be.

Unfortunately there is no maid service and no firing squad. The blame and consequence and the state of my own soul must rest firmly on my shoulders. Eventually I figure out this "repentance" thing, find a little bit of strength, a dash of sticktuitiveness and a whole lot of grace. Chuck it in the oven, bake for an hour or so and I'll end up coming out looking like me again.